Tell us what you do for a living and how you got into it?
From a young age I always volunteered to organise socials and events for friends, it wasn’t until I was older that I realised I had struck gold with my skills and could turn this passion into a career. I studied Event Management and Music and Media Management and am an Event Producer by profession, however I am rubbish at organising my own events!
Do you think that you have been limited or propelled because of your identity?
When I first started building contacts within this industry I was constantly faced with challenges around being a black female in a predominantly white industry. I didn’t see it at as a disadvantage as I knew I brought something special to the table, however as I have continued to grow within this industry I have realised just how difficult being a black female is and the duty I have to support future black females that want to pursue the same path.
You are mother to a gorgeous 11 year old little lady. How does being a Mother feel, be all the way real? How does being a single mother feel… Is there a difference for you?
Hmmm… How does being a mother feel? What a question. Motherhood is something that cannot be explained. I feel so much in an average week it’s unbelievable! Prepared, tired, proud, confused, love, fear, passion gosh it’s a rollercoaster, that I can say for sure!
As for being a single mother, I feel the same! There are harder elements to deal with as I realise that every decision I make is on me. No one else… just me! I never really know what I’m doing, most of the time I feel like I’m winging this parenting thing.
I just use common sense, emotion, empathy and aspiration to plan and prepare my daughter for life.
In today’s society where negative stereotypes have become the main narrative, do you feel that as a young, single mother of dual heritage child you have had to do more to be successful?
Absolutely! My main mission as a mother is and was to change what “normal” is for my daughter. This is how they learn, through what they see, know and do. We all have the power to change our circumstances and allow our children to see what we want them to and I made a choice in what that was for my daughter. I wanted to fill it with love, travel, inspiration, no limitations, time and passion. All these things lead to an internal happiness for me and that is success.
How has your race and ethnic / cultural background influenced your parenting?
I feel like my experiences through my cultural background have been the main influences in parenting. My mum and I have a very laid back relationship. We laugh and joke, swear and cuss but try to never go to sleep angry with each other. We are very much alike and have had to learn how to manage each other.
My dad and I have the completely opposite relationship, which taught me a lot of discipline, patience and laughter. I spent loads of time with family, especially “Aunties and Uncles”. If you’re from an African family you will appreciate that these were probably family friends and not necessarily blood related, but that in itself is such a beautiful thing.
We can only use our own experiences and knowledge of the world to pass on to our own children in the hope of making them better versions of ourselves.
Growing up I travelled loads, spent time in the countryside and lived abroad in Lesotho, South Africa, all experiences that have definitely contributed to the experiences I now pass on to my daughter.
What is your view on promoting your daughters ethnic background and why?
This is such a strong issue in today’s society. It is necessary in every way, shape and form. There are subliminal messages in walks of everyday life that I have to combat and make her aware of. Self awareness and love is important as there will always be things that will attempt to wear you down, so knowing who you are, who your people are and the struggles that we as individuals and as a people go through and have overcome is essential knowledge.
What are your thoughts on the representation of Black Mothers online?
I don’t think I am aware enough of our presence. There are a few groups I have come across but none that have really caught my eye. So in that respect, I think we have a weak online presence.
How do you feel your journey has impacted on your daughter?
Positively! My journey is something my daughter can look at and dissect. An opportunity to see into my struggles and my good times and be able to make decisions based on my experiences that will influence her own.
You run your own Event Management company where a lot of International travel is involved. How do you juggle your career with being a mother?
I don’t lol. People often ask me this. My career incorporates being a mother. I have built my business around her and try to enable her to be privy to as much of the good times as possible (and equally the bad). Travel is more difficult, but where possible I bring her with me. Now she is at an age where I can further her education and have chosen to move her into an international boarding school, which will allow her to grow in her next chapter, while also giving me the freedom to travel more to build a better future for us both.
When you feel overwhelmed how do you overcome that?
I’m not sure, it depends on what has caused me to be overwhelmed. With my line of work more often than not this is the case, so I have learnt to deal with pressure and just take it on the chin. When it’s not work related… I have a duvet day and ignore the world. Sometimes that’s all we need, a day to recharge!
What, if anything would you do differently as a parent?
Not force my daughter to eat certain foods and not force her to finish her meals. Honestly, there’s not much.
I’ve never been a parent before and have done the best I could have and will continue to do so.
*Quick fire questions*
Wretch32 or Ghetts? Wretch32
Clubbing or Fine dining? Fine Dining! Nom.
Jollof Rice or Plantain? Plantain
Trainers or Heels? Trainers (3 stripes)
London or Nigeria? Nigeria!
Hip Hop or RnB? RnB
Cake or Cocktails? Cocktails
Sum up Motherhood in four words:
Trying. Passionate. Perseverance. Beautiful.
What’s your favourite Motherhood Quote?
“This is not a dress rehearsal.”